


Wizard in Wal-Mart

by Squarepeg72



Series: Shield and Quill [14]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Grocery Shopping, Muggle/Wizard Relations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 13:11:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20742746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squarepeg72/pseuds/Squarepeg72
Summary: Draco thought he had the entire weekend planned. Then, he discovered part of his nightly routine was missing. Will he and Natasha survive a midnight run to the grocers? Will the store survive?





	Wizard in Wal-Mart

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Marvelously Magical Fanfiction's Bingo 2019  
Square O1 - Obliviate
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/148170750@N07/48779269371/in/dateposted-public/)  


All he wanted was some milk and biscuits. That was all. Nothing more, nothing less.

Draco had managed to talk Natasha into a weekend away from everything. No Steve, no Tony, no Ministry, no Avengers. Just him and Natasha, a cabin in the Poconos, peace and quiet. The end of the world could wait for a weekend. He wanted a weekend alone with her, with no distractions. They had been so wrapped in Ministry or Avengers business in the last few months that they were losing touch with each other.

He thought he had ordered everything to be stocked in the cabin before they arrived. What was the point of being a Malfoy if you couldn't get things the way you want it? Somehow, someone had forgotten the milk and biscuits. Everything else was there.

Draco grumbled as he thought about how even perfectly planned weekends could go wrong.”Everything I needed for a fire, blankets, naked Natasha and so much more. Everything was perfect until I looked the cabinets. No milk and biscuits.”

Draco continued to mumble as he pulled on his trousers. He was a man of few wants. Most of them were easily met. Milk and biscuits before bed were a part of his daily routine, just like coffee was something Natasha had to have before she could speak in the morning. Or, just like some people had to have a cigarette after they had sex, Draco had to have milk and biscuits before he could sleep.

“Draco, what are you mumbling about,” Natasha watched him dressing from the comfort of the bed. “It is almost midnight and I was promised a night of you and me enjoying this bed.”

“I need biscuits before I can go to bed.” Draco muttered and continued to dress. “I included that in the orders to get this cabin right for the weekend. It is not that bloody heard to have milk and biscuits for my evening enjoyment.”

“Where are you going?” Natasha threw back the covers and started looking for the clothes she had just taken off. “We are in the Poconos. It’s not like there is Floo service here.”

“I saw a store not far from her as we were driving in. It looked big enough to carry those creme filled biscuits you like.” Draco’s voice was muffled by the jumper he was pulling over his head. “I just need a couple of boxes to get us through the weekend.”

“Oreos?” Natasha shook her head as she watched him tuck his wallet into the back pocket of his trousers. “Those are cookies, not biscuits. Will you wait for me? I am not letting you drive after the last adventure we had.”

“I am an excellent driver.” Draco muttered as he looked around for his wand and the keys to the car he had rented. “Just because I swerved and cast a hex on the deer running at your car, does not mean I don’t know what I am doing.”

“I’ll drive.” Natasha slid her feet into her shoes and held up the car keys. “If I remember correctly, the store you saw was a Wal-Mart. I’m sure we can find you Oreos and milk there.”

“Why do you say the name of the store like that?” Draco asked as Natasha rolled her eyes and sighed. “It looked like the big grocers we go to when we are at the compound.”

“Promise me you will not hex anyone.” Natasha grabbed his hand and started for the door. “I am going to need some wine after this trip. Don’t let me forget it.”

"There is wine chilled in the refrigerator, darling." Draco shrugged as he followed her to the car. "Are we going to need more than three bottles?"

"Yes!" Natasha pushed the button to start the car. "There are some things that just can't be explained, they have to be experienced. Walmart after 9 PM is an experience."

Natasha used the drive to talk about having to experience Walmart. The more she talked, the more Draco began to rethink his need for milk and biscuits before bed. But, he really liked Oreos, so sacrifices must be made

This was just a quick trip to the groceries for biscuits. Not another war, or so he thought. Draco could not believe the number of cars surrounding the grey and blue building. Draco, not being as familiar with Muggle stores, was surprised to see so many people in the store this late at night. He had never been to Walmart and had never heard of Walmart. He was a wizard after all and Walmart was a very Muggle thing. Natasha shuddered a little as they entered the store.

“Let’s stay together. “ Natasha put one hand in her pocket while she grabbed Draco’s hand with the other. “It will only take a minute, I know right where the wine and cookies are in this Walmart.”

Draco wondered about the ways she was clinging to him and dragging him through the sliding doors. Natasha was muttering about getting the cookies and getting the hell out of there as Draco tried to keep up.

“Darling, the store is not on fire.” Draco tried to get her to slow down as they approached the grocery section of the store. “We can go down different aisles and get what we need quicker if you don’t like being here.”

“I’m more worried about losing you in the middle of all the people of Walmart than efficient shopping.” Natasha continued to mutter. “If I let you go down the cookie aisle, can you find what you want and meet me at the other end?”

“If I wanted cookies, yes, I could do that.” Draco stopped in the middle of an aisle. “But, I want biscuits and they don’t have an aisle labeled for that here.”

“Draco ….” Natasha started to growl. “What the hell. Do you want biscuits or Oreos? I am going to need three more bottles of wine to survive this.”

“I thought Oreos were biscuits?” Draco raised an eyebrow as he watched Natasha stop towards the back of the store. “Darling, what are you doing? I have no idea where to find anything.”

“Stay there. Do not hex anyone.” Natasha sighed. “Do not speak to anyone. Do not step into the aisle or ask anyone to help you find anything. I cannot translate for you right now and I really need to find the best wine Walmart has to offer.”

Draco stepped into the long aisle to his right.”This is a good aisle. Crisps could be nice. I need a trolley to put things in. It can’t hurt to go back to the front to get a trolley.”

Draco peeked out of the end of the aisle to check for Natasha. “I am only going back to the front of the store where I saw the trolleys. What harm could there be in that? I am walking to the front of the store and back to this aisle. It is a straight path.”

Draco made it to the front of the store without a problem. He was a little concerned when he saw a rather large young lady wearing only a shirt that barely covered her arse, until he realized that she was wearing flesh color leggings. He still shuddered at the sight but he was determined to find his biscuits and milk.

Draco realized the flaw in his plan as he tried to return to the aisle where he had found the crisps. It seems that his path had been turned into a construction zone while he was getting his trolley. The aisles were too narrow for trolleys to pass each other and men in hard hats were setting up equipment to do something to the floor. This might have been what Natasha was trying to warn him about.

Draco backed down the aisle he was on to look for an alternate route to the crisps. Spotting a clear path, Draco began to maneuver his trolley towards the back of the store. “Bread, candy, juice… I know the crisps are around here somewhere.” Draco continued to mutter as he read the signs on the end of the aisles.

“Pardon me, miss,” Draco apologized as his trolley bumped into another. “Do you by chance happen to know where I can find the biscuits?”

Draco was startled by the deep voice that came from the person pushing the trolley he had bumped into. “They are all the way at the back, in the refrigerated section.” The gentleman in the summer dress and strappy sandals pointed further back in the store. “Have a blessed evening.”

Continuing to push his trolley around construction equipment and piles of stock waiting to be put on shelves, Draco made his way to the back of the store. “Why would Oreos be in the cold section?” Draco puzzled as he stared at the refrigerated case of premade breads in popable cans. “I wanted biscuits, not canned bread. This makes no sense.”

“What was that, dear?” Draco was startled by the thin voice behind him. “These biscuits are not bad, but it’s like waiting for a Jack-in-the-box to pop when you try to open the can. The ones in the blue and yellow can are best.”

A small, white haired lady pushed her trolley up to the case and grabbed three of the cans she had just described. “The grandbabies love these. I hope you find what you are looking for, dear.”

Draco ran a shaky hand through his hair as he watched her walk to another part of the store. “Sweet lady, but I think she may be a little flighty.” Draco grumbled as he looked over the offerings on the shelf. “These are not biscuits. This is bread. Where the bloody hell are the biscuits?”

Draco turned his trolley back towards the construction zone as he continued to grumble. “All I wanted was some bloody biscuits and milk before bed. When did that get to be such a task. Where the am? A wild dragon chase would be easier.”

“You okay, Mister?” Draco felt a tug on his trouser leg. “Bloody stuff is over in the Halloween section. Mama told me I couldn’t go there without her because I am too little.”

“I am so sorry,” a harried young lady pulled the small child away from Draco. “He loves Halloween and is impatient. I hope he wasn’t any trouble.”

“Not at all,” Draco answered without thinking. “He was rather helpful. I now know which part of the store I am not going to.”

“I hope you find what you are looking for.” The young mother smiled and grabbed her child’s hand. “Come on Harry, we will get to Halloween soon. Right now I need to find the cookies and chips your Nana needs for tomorrow’s party. Hold on to the cart so we can get to Halloween quicker.”

“Right now, I need to find Natasha and biscuits.” Draco muttered, watching the mother and child walk away. “And, I might need to use a spell or two to get out of this maze alive. An _Obliviate_ or two wouldn’t hurt anything.”

“Draco,” Natasha voice drifted down the next aisle. “Where the hell are you? This place may not have enough wine for me to get this nightmare out of my brain.”

“Over here, love,” Draco peeked around the end of the aisle he had wandered into. “I went to get a trolley for our purchases and now I need a spell or two to erased some of the horrors I have seen. I still haven't found the biscuits.”

“I left you on the aisle you needed.” Natasha grumbled as she grabbed the end of the trolley and started to drag it, and Draco, along the aisle. “All you had to do was stay on that aisle...”

“Darling, slow down,” Draco stumbled as Natasha pulled the trolley faster. “Where is your wine? Where are you headed? The gentleman in the summer dress said the biscuits were back there but I did not see anything like I wanted.”

“I am taking to you to get your damn Oreos before I kill someone.” Natasha growled. “The gentleman in the dress sent you to the section of the store where American biscuits are kept. He had no idea that you were actually looking for cookies. I need this cart to haul all the wine I am going to need to drink so I don’t kill anyone before we escape.”

“It can’t be that bad, can it?” Draco asked. “I have seen things that can never be unseen. Unless you want me to _Obliviate_ some memories for you.”

“Let’s not open that Pandora’s Box.” Natasha stopped suddenly. “Here, Oreos. Now to the back for milk and then three aisles over for the wine. If we hurry we can get to the check out before the line gets too long.”

“It is almost midnight. How many people could possibly be in this store?” Draco grabbed three bags of Oreos off the shelf in front of him. “I know there have been some strange people her tonight and there is a full moon …”

“Trust me, we need to get out of here real soon.” Natasha sighed. “Whatever happens, do not get out your wand. If I cannot shoot people in Walmart, you cannot hex them.”

It didn’t take long for Draco to discover why Natasha had been worried about him hexing someone. It took three detours and two close encounters with people in questionable dress before they had the milk and wine to finish their shopping.

Draco almost forgot his promise not to hex anyone when they got to the checkout que. “Where the bloody hell did all these people come from? Why is there only one que open? Why is every bloody person standing still? What the …”

Natasha put her hand on Draco’s as he reached inside his jacket to get his wand. “Don’t say it. No, you can’t do that. It will only make things worse. We are getting at the end of this line and praying that it moves quickly. Do _NOT_ change lines if another register opens. I do want to get back to the cabin before dawn.”

“I just want to hex one or two. That would help speed up the que,” Draco started to protest. “The quicker we pay, the quicker we get back to the quiet of the cabin. The quicker we get to …”

“Draco,” Natasha whispered in his ear. “If you hex anyone before we leave this store, you will be sleeping on the couch while I enjoy that nice king size bed in our cabin. Remember, you are the one that wanted cookies before bed.”

“Darling,” Draco moaned as he pulled her against his chest. “You drive a hard bargain. You need to get your other hand off your gun before I take my hand off my wand.”

“Hey buddy,” A loud voice filled the space behind them. “Quit making out and move up in the line. I want to get home before sunrise.”

“The gentleman in the leather chaps and vest has a point.” Draco sighed as he let go of Natasha. “We can continue this discussion later. It appears as though we are next in the que. Shall we buy our biscuits and wine and head home?"

“Please,” Natasha began to unload their trolley on the counter. “But, we are never doing this again. Never.”

“As you wish, darling.” Draco smiled as he reached for his wallet. “But, didn’t you tell me, never say never …”


End file.
